


Circle in the Sand

by sweetoctopodes



Category: Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Gelphie, Reunion, Wizard of Oz References, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 06:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetoctopodes/pseuds/sweetoctopodes
Summary: It's been ten years since Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch of the West. Glinda is still picking up the pieces of both her heart and the land of Oz.And then, a letter.Elphaba might be alive, and Glinda can't help but follow up the information, even if it isn't true. She'd risk life and limb to find the chance that her best friend is alive.Ten years is a long time, but some love never truly dies.





	1. Glinda Undone

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if anyone still reads fanfic for Wicked the Musical. But it was a very formative piece of work for me as a kid and it's still so important to me now. 
> 
> I saw the musical for the first time in high school. And honestly, it changed my life. I fell in love with the music and the story. It was my first real obsession with a work of fiction and a Broadway show. (Although a strong argument could be made for Phantom of the Opera as either a close first or second, but my love for Wicked is slightly stronger.) 
> 
> I've had this sort of story floating in my head since I was a teenager. It drove me crazy that Glinda never knew that her best friend didn't really die. I wanted to see them reunited, if all else something to say "I'm safe, I'm alive." 
> 
> At the time I couldn't have written it. I was still pretty homophobic and had at least six years before I'd come to terms with my own queerness. 
> 
> In a way, I think something familiar sparked in me seeing the relationship between Glinda and Elphie. I hadn't the words to say "I see and enjoy the love of two women and desire that for myself" but because it still ended in a heterosexual way, it was safe for me to enjoy in a time and place where queerness wasn't acceptable. Like I said, very formative. 
> 
> So now we have this. A very gay post-musical fanfic that's been years in the making. Even if no one reads this, I know I will have told a story from my heart: a story of two women dealing with life and death and love and magic. And if anyone does read this, please do leave a comment. This story means a lot to me, and I'd love to see others enjoy what's been in my heart for so long!

The taste of whiskey is hot on her tongue. It burns, and Glinda closes her eyes and embraces the sting. (In a way, it feels deserved; the sting of the alcohol drowning out the much deeper pain she feels. It’s not quite harsh enough at times, but it’s enough. It’s something.) 

No one in Oz really has the guts to mention that Glinda the Good, Witch and political dynamo, always takes this particular day off. She doesn’t even go to her office high up in the Emerald City. She stays at home and cries and lets down that wall for a moment. 

Wrinkles have begun to carve gentle canyons next to her eyes. She’s no longer the bubbly college graduate. She’s nearing her mid-30s now, supposedly in her prime when in all reality she’s drowning in alcohol and paperwork. She’s beautiful still, she’d never doubt that. But age has done something strange to her; it made her serious. (It made her sad.)

Sure, she keeps up the front for her people. They rely on her; Morrible and that damn Wizard made a mess out of Oz, betrayed the people, turned one of the most powerful and kind Witches into Public Enemy No. 1. And they killed her. Sure, maybe it was that Kansas kid who struck her down for good, but they were the ones guiding her, dragging some kid into their deception and madness. 

She was a child. Did Dorothy ever realize she’d killed someone? They made a child into a murderer. They made Glinda into what? A pawn. And then they killed her. 

Elphaba. 

Perfectly manicured nails clench around the glass, and Glinda throws it against the wall and screams. The glass shatters instantly, broken glass falling onto a rich red carpet. 

It takes a moment for her to realize what she’s done, how deeply she is falling apart. (It’s been ten years to the day and she’s been breaking like glass on the wall ever since.) 

Glinda gasps almost inaudibly and rushes to pick the pieces off the floor. Her hands are shaking, tears are hot against her flushed cheeks, and yet she doesn’t care when a shard of glass scrapes across her skin and draws blood. 

She abandons her task and presses her back against the wall. It’s stupid how much she still misses Elphaba, how much she just wants to go through all of this with her best friend. Ten years later and she’s still mourning her. Ten years after professing forgiveness and reconciliation and yet Glinda still can’t manage to forgive herself. She was never able to find anyone else to get close to after Elphaba’s death. No significant other, no best friend. An assistant she could boss around, sure, but a friend? Not a real one in ten years. 

Glinda lets herself cry there, on the floor. It’s a sort of ritual for her, sobbing on the floor on the anniversary of Elphaba’s death. And tomorrow she’ll wake up and put on her frilliest dress and flounce into Emerald City, smiling and greeting her constituents and fans. And no one will know, no one will ask about the cut on her hand or what she did on her day off. Life will resume. It will go on as normal.

But she won’t. Because deep down, Glinda knows it’s her fault. It’s her fault Elphaba had to go through all of the Wizard’s nonsense alone. It’s her fault that Morrible and the Wizard kept talking on and on about how absolutely wicked Elphaba was, how the public believed everything. Elphaba was brave and kind and good; she stood up for what she believed in, even if she did make mistakes along the way. Even Fiyero, the shallow prince, stood up for her and spoke up about how wrong all of it was. And it cost him his life, too. 

Glinda, on the other hand? She was a coward. Abandoned her best friend in her time of need in order to maintain what, her reputation? Her image? Her Goodness? Sure, Glinda lived. But at what cost? Ten years is a lot of time to let one’s heart build up so much grief and regret. 

“It wasn’t you who was the wicked one; it was me!” 

Glinda screams it at no one but her own reflection in the broken glass still laying on the floor. She cries, and the realization that twists the proverbial knife in her heart hits her again like it does every year. 

Glinda is the reason she’s dead. It’s her fault that Elphaba was killed. She practically handed Dorothy the bucket. 

“I’m so sorry, Elphie. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.” 

It’s a liturgy and a eulogy all at once. It’s the bitter taste of repentance and regret to one who will never hear it, never give her the absolution her soul seeks. In a way, it’s what helps keep her dedication to the people of Oz. She has to do better, has to be better. For her. For Elphie. 

She’s drunk and crying and the blood on her hand is still wet, staining everything she touches with a crimson handprint. Glinda’s stomach churns, and she vomits onto the floor. 

It’s all she can do to wipe her mouth and laugh. Drying blood stains her lips. Here she is, Glinda the Good, sitting in her own home with blood and tears and vomit on her face. 

“Oh if you could see what I’ve become in your absence, Elphie,” she slurs. “An unpretty and ungood mess. And you know what? I don’t care. I wish everyone would see me like this. This? This is the real Glinda the Good.”

Dull and glossy blue eyes close, and she falls asleep there on the floor, still stained with her own guilt. When she wakes she’ll clean herself up and walk into the Emerald City as the land’s greatest leader, prim and perfect. But not now. Now it’s time to sleep and revel in the glory and sheer beauty that is Glinda undone. 

Despite what it feels like some days, dawn still rises the next day. Golden sunlight falls over Glinda’s face, and she slowly blinks awake, head pounding and whole body aching. The clock still ticks, time still turns, the world still spins. The heartbeat of Oz beats strongly and proud, and whether she likes it or not Glinda is at the center, ensuring a balance of power so no one like the Wizard can take control of the heart of Oz again. 

Glinda slowly stands up. She looks down at her hand and realizes that she just let it bleed last night. She slowly bandages it, knowing she could probably heal it all up with a spell, but she doesn’t have the energy for much magic at all. 

And with no small amount of effort, Glinda fixes herself up and flies into the Emerald City in her perfect bubble. 

“Good morning Miss Glinda!” 

“Glinda, you look perfect today!”

“Glinda the Good! Thank you for your Goodness!”

Glinda smiles and greets each person who speaks to her, although if she’s completely honest the praise doesn’t feel entirely deserved or earned. But nonetheless, she is grateful for it all. She does have a chance to help Oz after all. 

It’s not long after Glinda sits at her desk that there’s a knock at her door. 

“Enter!” trills Glinda. 

A small, dark-haired munchkin pokes his head in. “Miss Glinda? I...have a letter for you. It looks important.” 

“Bring it here, Aurelius,” she says, pulling her reading glasses out and putting them on. 

Her munchkin assistant hands her the letter, and she can tell that sure enough, it’s probably quite important. The seal itself isn’t Ozian; that in itself is quite a feat. It means that someone took the risk of sending a letter across the Deadly Desert to get this message to her. 

Glinda’s heart races as she breaks the seal, a symbol of the Land of Ev if her knowledge of outside kingdoms is accurate, and she opens the letter. 

_To the great Glinda the Good, Witch of the North and monarch of Oz, from the personal desk of the Queen Penelope of Ev,_

_A strange occurrence has recently happened in the land of Ev. Ordinarily I would write it off as nothing but nonsense from the hillside but as it made its way to my attention, I happened to recall your request from many years ago._

_If you will recall, you yourself sent a letter to me as well as a number of other kingdoms, if my understanding is correct. You requested that if either a green-skinned woman or sentient scarecrow was spotted that you should be notified. Today I find myself fulfilling your peculiar request._

Glinda’s heart freezes in her chest as she continues reading the letter. It was nearly nine years ago that she had sent out a series of letters across the desert asking for any information about Elphie or Fiyero. She hadn’t expected any responses: the desert was highly dangerous and near impossible to pass, but on a wild whim she had temporarily believed they might still be alive and requested information not just from her own people of Oz, but neighboring kingdoms. While Oz is fairly isolated, she had to take the risk of communicating on the off chance that they were alive and someplace other than the hidden corners of Oz. 

_I have word from several reliable sources that a green-skinned woman was recently traveling alone far off in the Hills of Ved here in Ev. We have not the reason why she was wandering about alone, but we have not seen her since those sightings. I hope this message finds you safely and quickly and that such obscure information is useful to you._

_My best wishes to you and all of the people of Oz._

_Sincerely,  
Queen Penelope of Ev _

“Aurelius, how did this letter arrive?” demands Glinda, her voice filled with desperation. 

“There was a man who came with it. He passed out shortly after arriving. I’m not quite sure how he managed to cross the desert, but he’s currently resting in the medical ward,” he replied. 

“Take me to him.” 

In her haste, Glinda leaves the letter behind on her desk. She follows Aurelius to the medical ward to meet this stranger who delivered the news. 

There’s something faint stirring in Glinda’s soul, a feeling she hasn’t felt in so long she almost forgot it altogether. It’s a flicker of hope. A woman with green skin was spotted far away in the hills of Ev. It’s a risk, it may not even be true. But deep down, Glinda knows the truth. She has to believe it. 

She’s alive. 

Elphaba is alive.


	2. The Messenger From Ev

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glinda finally speaks to the mysterious messenger. What does this person know, and what lies ahead on her quest to find Elphaba?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy heck it's been so long since I updated. Got caught up moving and a bunch of other shit, tbh. BUT! I have a new chapter ready now and I'm so far pretty pleased with where this is going. (Although seriously please DM me if you wanna beta or something!!) Feel free to scream at me about this on Tumblr at lapvslazuli!
> 
> Also Elphaba is a local cryptid and you're welcome.

“Miss Glinda, you can’t go!” shouts Aurelius as Glinda the Good storms through the offices of Emerald City.

She’s organizing everything perfectly for her planned absence. She’s only just heard the rumors of Elphaba's presence in Ev and she fully plans on leaving immediately--today, if possible.

“I can, Aurelius, and I am. I know her. If she’s been spotted in Ev, she’s alive, and I’m going to find her and bring her back to Oz,” she replies sternly. Her walk has new purpose, new meaning to it. Only hours ago was she sobbing over how much she missed Elphie, and now there’s a chance, a sweet taste of hope, that Elphaba is still alive. There’s no way in hell she’s letting this chance pass her by, responsibilities be damned.

Aurelius looks nervous. He’s her assistant, true, but he knows he is in no way prepared to act in Glinda’s place. Besides, Glinda the Good Witch, the recognized reigning monarch of Oz, going after the Wicked Witch of the West? It’s nearly unheard of. How the hell was he going to explain this one? 

“Miss Glinda...if I may...why go after the Wicked Witch?” At Glinda’s glare, he stammers again. “That is, Oz may know the truth about the...situation that occurred between her and the Wizard, but her label may still stand. What if your reputation is damaged? What if you bring her back with you and her terrifying reputation returns? Think of the potential consequences!”

His words give Glinda pause for a moment, but not for the reasons she knows Aurelius thinks. It’s not her reputation she’s concerned with. It’s her. Elphie. The feelings are...complicated. Glinda has always been well-loved, but never as truly or deeply as Elphaba loved her. And Glinda had never loved anyone as much as she had her Elphie. Perhaps not even Fiyero. (In retrospect, her engagement and feelings seem almost...forced. She loved him, yes, and the broken engagement hurt. But it had been shallow and doomed from the start. It was a relationship that made sense. A beautiful aristocrat like her and a brainless prince like him? It was the kind of thing she was supposed to want and supposed to have. In a way, Glinda hopes that Elphie was happy out there with him. She wishes Elphie found her own happiness. But on the other hand…)

“Reputation be damned. I need to find her, Aurelius. For my own sake.” It’s all she can share at the moment. Aurelius was kind; a good assistant and a powerful magician in his own right. But even he didn’t have that sort of closeness with her where she was willing to share her grief and healing, let alone the fact that her deepest hope and longing could possibly be fulfilled on this journey.

Aurelius sees the look in her eye and decides not to question her. “I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he says softly. He is, perhaps, the closest person in Glinda’s life. He knows she has much more emotional and intellectual depth than she lets on to the public, even if he does keep it quiet.

“Thank you, Aurelius,” her voice is gentler, now. There’s almost a weariness about her. The fire in her eyes hasn’t stilled, but it has become more focused.

“The Council won’t be happy about it,” comments Aurelius dryly as he follows Glinda down the long green hallway.

(In a way, Glinda always resented the color of Emerald City. It reminded her too much of Elphie.)

“The Council doesn’t need to know. Look, just tell them I’m taking a brief personal vacation, and I’ve given you full permission to be my spokesperson. Can you do that?”

Aurelius’s eyes widened. “Is that even legal? I mean, you know you can count on me, but I _must_ question the legality of it. Technically, it is a political expedition since I’m assuming you’ll want to travel with the Queen of Ev’s messenger?”

Glinda nods. “That is true, and it is rather unorthodox for a monarch to visit a country unexpectedly, but I am also allowed to take personal time off. I’m not going as a monarch. I’m going as Glinda. This isn’t political, Aurelius. It’s personal.”

I'm a way, that’s what makes Aurelius so nervous about it. Glinda has _always_ been focused on the political needs of Oz, establishing a High Council to ensure a balance of power and representation from all corners of the land. She even ensured that the animals had a proper voice on the Council. It didn’t erase all prejudice against them, but it did ensure that the laws would protect them. (What Aurelius doesn’t know is that all of Glinda’s political moves have been based in personal reasons.)

“I’m worried for you, Miss Glinda.” It’s clear that Aurelius is also worried _about_ her, although he may not say that outright.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” It’s a lie, and they both know it. Glinda hasn’t truly been fine since Elphaba died. Or left, if she really was alive. (But at this point, even with just the rumor, Glinda fully believes that Elphaba is alive. She _has_ to believe it for her own sake.)

A young Winkie woman runs up to Aurelius. “Excuse me, but I was told to inform you that the messenger from Ev is now awake.”

Aurelius and Glinda look at each other and nod.

“Take us to him,” says Glinda. She races off behind the Winkie woman and follows her down to the medical bay. It’s a space that’s well-lit, a faint green light reflecting off the white surfaces, like all other buildings in the Emerald City. The air smells sterile, but not overwhelmingly so.

They walk into the room where the messenger lays. The messenger’s eyes are closed, although his breathing indicates that he is indeed awake and conscious.

“Excuse me, sir,” says Glinda. “Are you the messenger who arrived from Ev?”

The messenger’s thin eyes slowly open to reveal dark brown, almost black, pupils. “I’m a woman. Don’t call me sir.”

“My apologies, ma’am,” says Glinda sincerely. “Are you the messenger from Ev?”

The woman raises an eyebrow. “Do I look like I’m from Oz?”

In truth, she doesn’t. It’s not the brown tone of her skin or the shape of her eyes, but her clothes. Ozian fashion is truly something to behold; it’s bold, vibrant, avant garde to say the least. Even the most casual clothing is extravagant and rich with colors and textures. This woman’s clothing is dark and simple. Fitted for practical use over fashion, most of her clothes are brown with a number of pockets. She has a scar over her right eye, hair falling just short of her chin

“I must thank you deeply for your message. You have no idea how important this information is to me. May I ask your name?”

The woman sighs and sits up, extending her hand. “Shev. Personal mercenary and attendant to the Queen.”

Glinda grins and shakes her hand. She’s almost surprisingly sincere in her gesture. Glinda actually seems personally interested and invested in meeting this messenger. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Shev. I am Glinda the Good Witch of the North, Princess of Oz.”

Shev’s expression doesn’t change. “I’m not sure why I was sent across the desert for such a strange message, but I’m glad it at least meant something to you.”

Glinda pauses for a moment. “Tell me about crossing the Desert, Shev.” She pauses, adding softly, “Please.” Perhaps there is enough desperation in her voice that Shev softens a bit.

“Dangerous task, that. Most who try don’t make it,” she answers, slowly sitting up. “Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about crossing it. If it were for anyone but my Queen, I wouldn’t have attempted it.”

“But you did. And it appears I have a friend who did. And now I’m going to as well,” says Glinda, hard determination in her voice. Shev may or may not think her decision is reckless and ridiculous, but it doesn’t matter. Glinda is going to find Elphaba, no matter the cost. The desert becoming her grave was not the worst outcome she could think of.

“I crossed the desert because I am personally close to the Queen. I’ve been trained for some of the worst conditions. And trust me, you set one foot on that sand and you’re dead. That’s not an exaggeration. It swallows whole anyone who dares set foot into the desert. The only plausible way to cross it is by flight or miracle, and even then the poisonous gas pockets can kill you before the sandstorms have a chance. I literally cannot emphasize how foolish it is to cross the desert, let alone without proper precautions. Don’t you have your own messengers or mercenaries?”

It’s evident from the shift in Glinda’s posture that Shev has said something vaguely offensive, for reasons Shev cannot understand.

“I will not send anyone else across that desert. I’m going, alone. If you’ve done your research on me, and considering your proximity to the Queen of Ev I suspect you have, then you know I can fly by bubble. I can modify the spell if I need to, make it stronger. I can and will make it across that desert and I’m not going to let anything deter me. Do you understand?”

The ends of Shev’s lips turn up ever so slightly. “Did you miss the part where I said it was downright foolish to attempt it?” There’s a sense of humor in her tone, something seemingly rare for her and not easily detected.

Glinda doesn’t smile at what appears to be an attempt at a joke. “I’m going. I don’t care if you say it’s foolish or not. I have to go find her.”

Shev’s brow wrinkles. She knows the contents of the letter. “You mean the green-skinned woman? She’s mostly just a rumor from the outskirts, an urban legend. She might not even be real.”

Glinda taps her foot on the ground impatiently. “I don’t care. Do you have anything else about the desert you care to share?”

Shev lays back. “Relax, Princess. Just give me some food and water and perhaps a few other supplies and I’ll help guide you across. Anything less would be disrespectful. Gotta get back to Ev sooner than later, anyway. Hell, maybe I’ll even be nice enough to help guide you through the hills. They can also be quite treacherous if you don’t know them well.”

Glinda wonders if this is some sick attempt to deter her from going. But her frustration and anger can’t be taken out on this woman. She did risk her life to tell her Elphaba is alive, and Glinda won’t begrudge her that much. She’s clearly very brave and strong, and Glinda respects that.

“You ought to go get some rest, too, Princess. We leave in the morning as soon as I get the supplies I need. And don’t worry about that bubble of yours. I’ve got all we need to fly right here,” she pats the bag at her side, and Glinda wonders what this woman has up her sleeve to help them cross the desert. What other dangers awaited her once she got through the desert? _If_ she got through.

“I’ll be ready. I assure you.” With that, Glinda leaves, trying to hold her shaking hands still.

She has all day to prepare for the journey ahead, but she’s almost feeling...conflicted. Not on whether or not she wants to go, but on whether or not she should simply go home now to prepare or finish ensuring things are prepared for her departure in the Emerald City. If the Council finds out, they’ll have her head and possibly her title. Which...considering that Oz had never fully had chosen a leader since the Wizard, coming up with a new monarch could be a political nightmare waiting to happen. Although there was no guarantee that once she was done they wouldn’t have her head anyway.

It was all a massive risk; one she would gladly take for Elphie.

“Go home, Glinda.”

Aurelius’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. “Pardon?”

“I said go home,” he says gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll take care of the rest.” There’s nothing but compassion in his bright green eyes, and Glinda realizes that her hands are still shaking. (There are tears in her eyes she refuses to acknowledge that Aurelius politely ignores.) This is probably the most vulnerable she’s been with her assistant in ten years.

Glinda grasps his hand, still on her shoulder. “Thank you, Aurelius.” She straightens her dress out and squares her shoulders. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. But I thank you deeply for all your help.”

Aurelius smiles. “Good luck, Miss Glinda.”

It doesn’t take Glinda more than a few minutes to get home and race to pack. She stares at her dresses. Was crossing a dangerous desert in a dress actually practical? Or did it even matter? Most of her wardrobe is pastel and full of dresses anyway.

Glinda grabs one of two pairs of pants. They’re pink, naturally; billowy with a solid pair of pockets. She lays it out for the morning and puts the other pair in her bag. Oz knows what lies ahead.

She also shoves several of her more simple dresses into her bag. Never can be too cautious when it comes to style. Without hesitation, she also pulls out the Grimmerie from her hidden cupboard and places it in her bag.

Glinda has never left Oz; sure, she’s traveled all around Oz itself, but in every situation she’s always been surrounded by others who ensure she is well dressed and well cared for, a celebrity of sorts around the land. She doubts Shev will care what she wears.

As she continued packing, thoughts begin to race through her head. What if she doesn’t find Elphie? Or what if she does? She’s been so eager to see her best friend again, what will she say if she finally sees her again. When she sees her again. It’s not as if she’s been able to plan out what she’s wanted to say to Elphaba for the past ten years. (Or in retrospect, has she? Aren’t those the thoughts that keep her up at night? Imaginary conversations with the ghosts in her head?)

Glinda falls asleep that night having a number of different conversations with herself, imaginary discussions of what will happen if -- when -- she sees Elphie again.

None of them seem to be satisfactory. Glinda eventually drifts off to the land of dreams, restlessly reliving the memories of Elphaba’s death as she sleeps.


	3. Into the Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The desert is not a kind place. But to find Elphaba, it's a necessary part of Glinda's journey.

Dawn rises, and the pale golden sunlight falls over Glinda’s face. Her eyes snap open and she doesn’t hesitate to get up and throw on the clothes she set out the night before. She grabs her bag and literally flies down to the med bay where Shev is waiting, looking ready and healthy. Her recovery time almost seems miraculous, but Glinda has seen stranger and more miraculous things happen in the med bay. 

Shev is far taller standing up, and Glinda has to admit she cuts an imposing silhouette. She’s rugged and Glinda won’t lie, a bit attractive. Shev laughs along with one of the nurses and Glinda wonders if that’s what Shev looks like when she’s flirting. 

She can’t help but grin at the fact that this is her travel companion for this part of the journey. Shev is tough and doesn’t put up with shit, both qualities that Glinda admires. Glinda also tries to be tough and fight for what she believes in, just with more glitter. She’s not always sure she succeeds, but by Oz, Glinda tries to do what is right these days. 

Shev turns and looks at Glinda. “Good, you’re here on time. Are you ready?” 

Glinda wipes her hands on her pants, not really realizing how sweaty they had been. She holds her head high and steels herself. “Of course I am.” 

Whether or not either of them believes that’s true, Shev grins at Glinda. It’s a soft, subtle smirk, a glint of knowing in Shev’s eye. “Well, have you ever ridden a flying carpet?” 

Glinda blinks. “Can’t say that I have. Have you ever flown in a bubble?” 

Shev shakes her head. “Can’t say that I have.” She then pulls out a roll of carpet from her bag, and it surprises Glinda that something so large could fit into such a small bag. It could easily fit two people on it, as the carpet is at least eight feet long and almost equally as wide. Shev unfurls it and it floats just inches from the ground.The gold embroidery shimmers in the sunlight upon the deep mahogany of the carpet. The craftsmanship is stunning, and Glinda has seen her fair share of gorgeous carpeting. 

Shev steps on the carpet and it stiffens slightly and stays afloat. “Hop on. It’s a bit strange getting on at first, but I promise it’ll stay afloat.” She offers a hand to Glinda, but Glinda steps on the carpet without help. 

“I’m not scared of a flying carpet.” It is a wondrous and terrifying feeling stepping onto a floating rug, but it does stay afloat. She’s not sure why she feels she has to prove herself to Shev, but she’s determined to make a good impression. After all, the two of them are traveling together, and nothing makes for horrible journey other than disagreeable companions.She sits down behind Shev and without further warning, the carpet lifts high into the air until they’re far above the Emerald City. Flying is louder than Glinda had expected. Floating by bubble is typically a very peaceful way to travel, as it’s typically rather slow going and barely floats above the city. Glinda clutches her shorter wand in her hand. She’s prepared to cast a protective spell if need be. 

“You can relax. We won’t arrive at the edge of the desert for a few more hours. Drink some water. You’ll need it.” She tosses Glinda a canteen of fresh water, and Glinda takes a few deep sips.

It’s silent as they fly over Winkie country. Few people stop and stare at the pair flying over the land. They seem to be used to strange flying women. Glinda clutches at the fibers of the carpet. She feels like she could fall off at any moment.

“It seems a bit...unstable!” she shouts over the wind. 

Shev laughs. “Yeah, you get used to it!” With that, Shev somehow directs the carpet to go faster, and Glinda chokes down a scream. 

“You look a bit green,” jokes Shev.

It’s meant to be a funny joke, and really, it is. Glinda does feel a bit nauseous, although that could just be the nerves of looking for someone who may not even be alive...and may not even want to be found. It’s just a sort of sucker-punch to Glinda, as it just reminds her of the most important person in the world. She half laughs and half grimaces at Shev's attempt at making a lighthearted joke.

Hours pass as the two of them fly. Glinda begins to lose track of time. The only thing helping her is the sky getting brighter and bluer, and then beginning to dim. The landscape slowly goes from lush and green to barren. Glinda looks forward, and she can simply see a line of sand. Shev begins to lower the flying carpet. The two of them land next to an area of sagebrush, nature’s last-ditch attempt to inhabit the deadly desert. 

Shev hands Glinda a pair of goggles and a cloth mask to put over her face. “Here. The last thing you want is sand blinding you or filling your lungs. Besides, there are gases that come up from the ground and can kill you in an instant. Make sure you cover both your nose and mouth if you want to live to see the other side of the desert.” 

Glinda doesn’t hesitate. “I’m not scared of the desert.” She puts the goggles on.

Shev laughs. “We don’t need these just yet. We need to eat and rest up before facing the desert. Relieve yourself if you need to.” Shev gathers some sagebrush and twigs. “I’m going to see if I can find any meat. Stay here, yell if you need me.” With that, Shev disappears into the twilight.

It takes Glinda a moment to realize she does need to go to the bathroom, and that her only options for that are well, the ground over there and the ground slightly to the left of over there. She squats behind a sagebrush bush and grimaces. 

_Oh, the things I’m willing to do for Elphaba._

(It would not be nearly the most difficult thing she would encounter during her journey.) 

Shev returns a short while later, a large dead rabbit in tow. “It’s not much, but it’s something. I’ve got some bread and dried fruit in my bag as well, but this will help us more.” She begins to gut and skin the rabbit, and Glinda quickly looks away, not looking forward to this meal. She forces herself to turn back and watch.

“You know, you don’t have to force yourself to be brave. It’s alright to be a bit squeamish at the sight of a fresh kill,” says Shev, temporarily putting down her knife. 

Glinda shakes her head, face paler than usual. “It’s okay, I’m okay, it’s…”

Shev shakes her head. “You don’t have to try and impress me, you know. You’ve got the guts to cross the desert, I’m already impressed.”

“I’m not...it’s not…” Glinda stutters and finds herself a bit flustered. “I’m not trying to prove myself to you.” A rather blatant lie. 

Shev laughs. “Alright, Princess.” She continues to cut the rabbit meat off the bones and starts a fire. 

“It’s not you I’m trying to prove myself to. It’s myself,” says Glinda, refusing to look at Shev. She fiddles with her fingers, digging the dirt out from under her nails. They never have dirt in them, and yet the opportunities for copious grooming aren't exactly common in the desert.

That gives the other woman pause. “Do you want to tell me why?”

Glinda shakes her head. “I don’t know.” She sighs. “I used to be a...a different person. I don't want to be her anymore. Haven't for years."

Shev starts cooking the meat over the fire. “You’re determined and brave and willing to risk it all for what, some message? You seem a decent enough person now, and I certainly can't say that about every politician I meet.” Shev hands Glinda a slice of bread and grins warmly at her.

“It’s a long story,” replies Glinda softly. She shoves a piece of bread into her mouth, and that’s the end of that conversation. 

Shev hands Glinda a few pieces of meat. “Eat. You’ll need it for the journey.” 

Glinda hesitates, and then takes it. She nervously takes a bite, and to her surprise, it’s actually pretty good. Even if she did have to see it skinned. It’s not her favorite meat, but it sure as hell beats starving in the desert. 

She looks past Shev and into the desert. From what she can tell, it’s nothing but sand for miles and miles. Is that really all that stands in the way of finding Elphaba? Even if it’s not, it’s something Glinda is more than willing to brave. Elphaba’s alive. She can feel it in her bones. It's a feeling she's going to chase until she finds what she's looking for.

After the two of them eat, they clean up camp and get back on the flying carpet. Glinda straps the goggles onto her face and Shev helps her tie the cloth mask on. 

“This won’t be an easy ride. Hold onto me if you need to,” says Shev, guiding the carpet into the air. 

Glinda nods. “I’m ready.” She adjusts her mask and once again grips the carpet in her fists as they slowly begin to make their way across the desert, the night sky shining bright above them, guiding their way. 

The first few hours of the trip are relatively boring. Nothing but shades of gold and brown for miles. It almost makes Glinda long for the greens of the Emerald City. Glinda actually curls up on the carpet and gets a bit of sleep. (Shev mentioned that she’d need the rest. Shev, on the other hand, was apparently above the need for sleep.) 

The carpet suddenly lurches and startles Glinda awake. It’s the dead of night by now, and she can barely see a thing save for her wand teetering on the edge of the flying carpet. 

“Glinda, don’t!” Shev shouts. 

But Glinda has already reached for her wand. “It’s perfectly fine, I just wanted to make sure it was —“ 

Glinda can’t finish her sentence. A massive gust of wind sends her falling off the edge of the carpet. 

She’s falling into the sand, and she isn’t afraid. Her wand is tight in her hand, and all she has to do is cast her bubble spell and she’ll be floating right next to Shev. She waves her wand, and her bubble forms around her. 

Only, high winds aren’t the only thing the desert has to offer. As the wind picks up the sand, enough hits Glinda’s bubble that it actually pops. Now Glinda is actually afraid. Is this it? Is she really not strong enough to make it across this desert? Will the sands be her death? Before she can think too heavily on the topic, Glinda lands hard not on the sand, but on Shev’s flying carpet. 

“Rule one of the desert: the sand will kill you. Hell, sometimes it feels like the desert is alive enough to actually try.” 

Glinda swallows hard and nods. “I owe you one, Shev.” 

Shev shakes her head. “I’m just doing my job.” 

Time passes, and the sky begin to lighten. The temperature is already getting hotter, and Glinda wishes she had a jacket to remove. Although if she removed more clothes, her skin would be exposed to the sands, and that alone could tear her apart. 

Air and sand puff up from the ground, and Shev deftly dodges it. Glinda can smell something that smells vaguely of sulfur. Not something she’d want to inhale deeply, that’s for sure. 

The silence of the desert becomes deafening, and Glinda’s mind begins to wander. If she actually found Elphie, what would she say? Hey, thanks for not telling me you’re alive for the past ten years? 

On the one hand, Glinda desperately hoped that she finds Elphaba. It’s been her dream these past ten years, to wake up and find Elphie next to her. But what if Elphie is really dead? What if Glinda travels all this way to find nothing but bone and rumors that break her heart? Not as if there was much more that actually could break her heart at this point. 

Glinda suddenly snaps out of her train of thought and gasps at the sight of whirling clouds of nothing but sand, a massive, rolling storm of sand and gas. 

“Shit. Sandstorm,” mutters Shev. She tosses Glinda more cloth. “Cover yourself as much as you can. We can’t take shelter on the ground, and it’s too big to go around. All we can do is ride it out. Hold on tight!” 

Glinda lays low against the carpet and holds onto Shev, who somehow manages to keep the damn thing afloat. Sand whips at her face, and she’s very glad she has the goggles and mask on. Even against the fabric, the sand practically tears at her skin. The heat burns, the sand burns, every part of her just aches. She tries to keep her breath steady, but the heat and dust seem to choke her lungs. She can’t even see at this point: the darkness of the dust simply envelopes everything in its path. 

Glinda has no idea how much time passes in the sandstorm. But her grip on Shev has managed to keep her on the carpet, something she’s incredibly grateful for. As soon as the sky is visible again, Glinda looks up. Everything seems strangely peaceful, almost like a massive sandstorm hadn’t torn apart almost everything in its path. Glinda coughs and gasps for air. 

“You alright? Sandstorms aren’t easy, even for me.” Shev asks. She looks at Glinda with genuine concern. 

It’s all Glinda can do to nod. Shev hands her a canteen, and Glinda removes enough of her mask to start guzzling it, trying to quench the deep burning dryness in her throat. 

“Take it slow. We have plenty of water, but you don’t want to overwhelm your body.” 

Glinda slows a bit, and finally takes a deep breath. She hands the canteen back to Shev, who also takes long, deep sips of water. 

“You okay?” asks Shev after a bit. Glinda can tell the other woman is also a bit shaken from the sandstorm, but still concerned about Glinda. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you?” 

Shev sighs. “It’s always rough dealing with sandstorms. We’ve already burned enough daylight. Let’s grab some food and keep going.” 

Glinda knows that Shev didn’t really answer her question, but in all honesty, it’s how Glinda would answer pretty much any question, especially in regards to Elphaba. She takes a moment to eat some bread and dried fruit with Shev before settling in to fly hard and fast again. 

The sunset in the desert is quite striking. It’s a perspective new to Glinda. The dull shades of brown of the desert transform into vibrant golds, and everything looks like it’s been kissed by pinks and oranges while a deep shade of purple streaks just on the horizon. Even if her journey fails, this...this is somehow worth the struggle. It’ll be more worth it if she actually finds Elphie, but Glinda will take what she can get, even if it’s just the image of a stunning setting sun.

Night falls, and Glinda begins to shiver as the cold settles in. “I th-thought deserts were supposed to be hot,” mutters Glinda, teeth chattering. This was officially the worst road trip ever.

Shev tosses her a blanket out of her neverending pack. “They are. But at night, there’s no heat source to keep the sand nice and hot. Sand loses its heat, and it gets cold. Deserts, particularly this one, aren’t exactly friendly to humans.”

Glinda curls up inside the blanket, trying to keep herself warm. “You don’t say.” Whether it’s the hunger, the tiredness, or the cold, Glinda’s mood continues to sink as the moon rises. She watches as Shev digs what looks like some sort of potion out of her pack and downs it in one gulp. 

“You should consider trying to sleep soon,” she says to a yawning Glinda. “Travel like this isn’t easy, and you’ll need your rest.” 

“But what about you?” asks Glinda, genuinely concerned about her traveling companion. “Won’t you get tired? I mean, I know you have to sort of...steer and operate this carpet but you need rest, too.” 

Shev smiles softly at Glinda. “That thing I just drank was a sort of...energy potion. Keeps me awake and alert. It doesn’t always have fun side effects, and when we arrive tomorrow I’ll be sure to pass out for about...ten hours, but it will keep us alive for the night.”

“Oh.” Glinda doesn’t exactly know what to say in response to that. “Thank you, I guess.”

“Try to sleep. Morning will come quicker than you thinks,” says Shev, turning her attention back to the endless desert before them. 

Glinda curls up where she can on the carpet. She’s thankful that it’s at least big enough to fit both of them comfortably. She’s still not sure how the magic of it works, and frankly she’s not sure she wants to know. Whatever keeps a carpet this large and this stable is something she’s unfamiliar with, and the unknown is something that frightens Glinda. She closes her eyes, hoping that a sandstorm doesn’t blast them out of the sky while she sleeps. 

It’s a bit terrifying, sleeping so high up on something so uncertain to her. But she thinks of Elphaba’s face, Elphaba’s smile and oh, Glinda can brave almost anything.


	4. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glinda finally arrives in Ev. What awaits her when she arrives?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in updating. At first, it was just because of a nasty kidney stone I got. (Please drink water!! Don't get kidney stones!!) I spent too many hours in the ER because I was in so much pain. Things got busy. BUT! To make up for it, please have this extra long chapter that I've really been looking forward to posting.

They’ve been flying west for nearly two days straight. Glinda’s body aches in ways she didn’t think it could ache. She wakes from her rest to Shev urgently tossing more cloth in Glinda’s direction. Another sandstorm. They aren’t lucky enough to only deal with one this time. Glinda licks her lips, dry as the sand and dust below as she covers herself as best as she can. She holds on to her wand, to her supplies as best as she can. She won’t make the same mistakes that she did last time. 

The daylight sky turns nearly black, and Glinda simply closes her eyes and endures it. Sand strikes her face, and it burns, even with all of the scarves she has covering her skin. She supposes it’s something like punishment for the way she once behaved. Her thoughts are as dark as the sky before them as she wonders if she should have died in place of Elphaba. 

As the sand and dust settle, Shev hands Glinda a canteen that’s barely half full. Glinda gulps down what she can, her throat almost burning at the relief. 

“Are you alright?” asks Shev. 

Glinda pauses. She’s not particularly okay. She really hasn’t been since Elphaba’s death, and this journey has brought up so many memories and feelings, and she’s barely begun. She’s alive, although what does that matter anymore to her, especially if Elphaba is truly gone? On the other hand, does she know Shev well enough to let the other woman know how much her soul has been shattered? 

“I’m fine, Shev. Thank you for asking.” She’s not sure that either of them truly believes her words. 

“We’ll be there by the time night falls. There’s a small military post near the border we can stay at for the night. I’m sure both of us will be in need of rest and food by the time we arrive.” 

Glinda nods, and a silence falls once again. Glinda stares into the distance, imagining what she’d say if she finally saw Elphaba again. No, not if.  _ When.  _ As the sand becomes less and less overwhelming, as the dust turns to dirt and rocks, the reality becomes even more overwhelming. There’s a knot in her stomach, a reality that she hasn’t touched in so many years. 

_ You love her.  _

Glinda swallows hard, her throat still dry: saliva barely able to form before her throat begs for more water. She grips the carpet tightly between her fingers and closes her eyes. She can’t help the tears that spill out from them. She covers her mouth in order to hide her gasps. Shev pretends not to notice as Glinda cries. They’re nearly there now, and Glinda’s not sure she’s ready to face what lies ahead. Perhaps she’ll be able to bury Elphaba’s ghost once and for all. 

“We’ll land in about ten minutes. Are you going to be okay?” asks Shev, the concern in her voice apparent. 

Glinda nods, wiping the tears from her face. She has streaks on her face from where the salty tears washed away the dirt that had collected on her cheeks. She feels absolutely disgusting, and not just because of all of the dirt, sand, and lack of bathing. She steels herself and prepares for landing in Ev. 

The carpet begins to descend, and Glinda’s ears start to pop. She hadn’t realized how far away from the ground they were. She’s thankful to see the green of the grass again, the vibrancy of  _ something  _ being alive. They don’t just land the moment there’s a solid, safe ground to settle on. They soon find themselves in a wooded area, a small cabin nestled between the trees.

“This is our stop. It’s not much, but we’ll be able to find food and shelter for the night.” Shev lands the flying carpet, and it hovers about an inch above the ground. 

Glinda steps down, and her legs immediately hurt. She stretches, not realizing how cramped her body had been while flying. It feels strange, being on the ground. Everything still feels like it’s moving ever so slightly, and her legs almost crumble beneath her. Shev steadies her.

“It’s okay. My legs feel the same way. Give it time, your body will return to normal.” Shev rolls up the flying carpet and shoves it in her bag. 

Glinda feels immensely comforted by the other woman. She leans on Shev for support as the two make their way to the outpost. Her feet almost feel numb, but she manages to make it there in one piece. If Shev is relying on her for as much support as she offers Glinda, she doesn’t show it, but Glinda can feel still a decent amount of weight from Shev leaning on her as they finally arrive at the small outpost. 

Shev knocks loudly on the door, and a small, brown-haired soldier opens the door. 

“Shev!” she exclaims, a look of surprise on her face.

“Technically it’s Commander Shev, but I’ll let it slide this time,” she replies with a smirk. 

Glinda raises her eyebrows at that. Commander? She was unaware that she held someone of such high rank in her company. Great Oz, what would have happened if her treatment in the Emerald City had been less than satisfactory? Even more than that, why did the Queen send someone of such high rank to deliver the letter to her? Glinda’s political sense made her suddenly suspicious of the Queen. She would be slightly more suspicious of Shev if the other woman had not made her so comfortable in their desert crossing. However, if Shev’s kindness was simply a ruse, then that was a whole other concern for both Glinda and Oz. 

The young soldier salutes hurriedly. “Yes, sir! I mean ma’am! I mean,” stammers the soldier. 

Shev laughs. “At ease, soldier. You’re new, and it looks like they stuck you in a rather slow outpost. What’s your name?” 

Glinda squints, examining the interaction between Shev and the young soldier. Shev was kind, yet intimidating, at least to this girl. Perhaps Glinda could understand more about Shev and the political state of Ev if she could understand this interaction. 

“My name is Lillian, ma’am. Private Lillian Tirand. It’s my first outpost assignment.”

“Private Lillian, you seem to be doing well. Do you happen to have any food available for myself and my traveling partner? We would like to stay the night, and I’m guessing both of us would like to bathe,” she says, glancing over at Glinda and smiling.

Glinda feels her face flush. Perhaps if she couldn’t find Elphaba she should attempt to get to know Shev a bit better. However, a bathroom and some food would really, really be wonderful. 

“Please, come inside. This part of the outpost is for keeping watch, but behind that door is a section for living. It can fit several people, but unfortunately, I’m the only one here so far. There are a few spare bunks I can offer. There’s a bathroom close to the bedrooms as well. Who is your guest, Commander?”

Glinda blinks. She’d been focused on her own thoughts for so long she hadn’t realized she’d never properly introduced. “My name is Glinda. Glinda Upland.”

Shev looks at her knowingly. Glinda could introduce herself with her full title as Oz’s Princess, but she’s chosen not to. She just wants to be Glinda right now. Maybe that way, no matter what happens, she can be at peace with herself. 

“Welcome to Ev, Miss Upland. Let me show you both to the bathrooms.” Lillian leads them out of the main room and toward the back. She gives Shev the first bathroom, which is understandable since Shev is of a higher rank. She then shows Glinda another bathroom that she may use. 

“It isn’t much, I’m afraid. There are some supplies in the closet. Please, let me know if you need anything else,” says Lillian. 

“I haven’t been able to bathe or anything for two days. I’m sure this will be wonderful. Thank you, Lillian,” she says softly. She turns to the bathroom closet as Lillian closes the door behind her, leaving Glinda alone with her thoughts. She begins running the water in the porcelain bathtub, sighing in relief as she realizes that it’s actually hot water. She prepares a towel for herself and once the bathtub is full, she slowly sinks into the hot water. 

Glinda closes her eyes and sighs. She can already see the dirt on her skin beginning to wash away in the water. Her mind begins to wander as her body begins to relax. She thinks of that day, that fateful day in the Emerald City. She could have gone with Elphie. 

“Come with me, please.” Elphaba had almost begged her. Well, for the rather reserved person Elphaba was, it was practically begging. The look in her eyes was desperate. Elphaba could have used a friend on her crusade. Glinda was Elphaba’s friend, and yet...she was afraid and turned her back on her best friend. The only friend that ever really mattered to her. No one else understood her like Elphaba. No one else could talk to her, encourage her and make her smile like Elphie.

But Glinda had been afraid. Of what? Of not living up to the expectations of her parents, of everyone else? It’s not like her professors expected anything great out of her. It’s not like her parents expected anything great out of her, either. She was just...supposed to be obedient and pretty. And she was. But there was something deeper there, something Glinda tried not to think about too much, not because she hated it but because it simply hurt too much to remember. 

Glinda was, and perhaps still is, afraid of loving Elphaba. What would her father say? It doesn’t matter now, Glinda feels free to do just about whatever she wants. But if she had gone then, it would have tipped her hand to more than just her parents, and that was something she hadn’t been ready for. 

But now? 

Glinda scrubs at her skin with a soapy washcloth. She scrubs til it almost hurts. Her face is already damp from the water, or else she probably would have realized she was crying earlier. And perhaps, even if this quest ends up unsuccessful, Glinda will have washed away her sins, will have finally grieved to completion. Elphie’s ghost still haunts her, and perhaps now that ghost will finally rest in peace. 

And then her skin is clean, her eyes are dry. Glinda stands up and drains the bathtub. She gets dressed in clean clothes Lillian had given her. She’s ready for the next leg of her journey. Glinda manages to find her way to the bunks and quickly falls asleep, dreaming of what she could find in the coming weeks. Coming days. 

In her dreams, she sees Elphaba’s face, smiling and happy. In her dreams, her heart leaps and she runs to her friend.  _ I’m sorry, Elphie. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. _ Elphie kisses her on the cheek, and Glinda wakes with her cheek warm and tingling. 

When she wakes, Lillian and Shev are already both awake. She drowsily wanders around until she finds the kitchen area. Her stomach growls, and she realizes that it’s been far too long since she last ate. She sees Shev sitting at a small table, reading over a letter. Once Shev notices Glinda, she gestures to the food and then nods at her to take a seat. 

“I’m afraid I have some unfortunate news,” says Shev.

Glinda panics for a moment. The worst thought immediately comes to her: Elphaba is dead and they found her body somewhere all alone. Glinda grabs her fork tightly in her hand, squeezing until it hurts.

“I’ve been called away. My Queen requires my presence for a rather serious matter, one she knows I’m an expert in. There should be a small logging village to the west of here. It won’t be too far, I hope. Will you be okay on your own?” asks Shev. Glinda can tell she’s genuinely concerned.

Glinda nods. “Just give me a map, and I’ll be just fine.” In all truthfulness, Glinda’s never been much of the outdoorsy type. She can read a map, and that’s about it. Hiking, hunting...she’s much better and much more herself in the city where everything is done for her. Sure, she’s traveled, but never quite like this before. But Glinda would rather get lost than let them know that there’s something she  _ isn’t  _ capable of.

“Be careful of the wild animals,” says Lillian, entering the room. She grabs a muffin from the counter and bites into it. “I don’t know what sorts of creatures you have in Oz, but in these woods around here, there are a number of bears. They’re usually not much of a threat unless you threaten them, but even so try not to risk these things.”

Shev hands Glinda a map, one that looks like it’s been used and has what Glinda assumes are outposts Shev uses marked with an x. She just nods silently. Shev says something but Glinda doesn’t fully hear it. Elphaba is somewhere on this map. 

“I’ve seen her before, you know,” says Shev. 

Glinda snaps to attention at that. “What? Where!”

“It was months ago. There’s no guarantee she’s in the same place. She was traveling alone, further west. I’m one of the Queen’s reliable sources.”

“Why...why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have...I don’t know! I could have found her already if you’d told me! I wouldn’t have worried so much that I was dreaming!”

Shev looks down. “I didn’t want to give you a false hope. There’s no certainty that she’s still in Ev, let alone still alive. It wasn’t relevant before now. I apologize for any distress it may have caused.”

Glinda wants to be mad, but she can’t. Shev has been nothing but cordial and helpful to her this entire time, and deep down she knows that Shev is right. Even if she was spotted, Elphaba may not still be alive. And it’s something Glinda knows she has to be prepared for. 

“I must be on my way, now. A pleasure, Miss Glinda,” says Shev. 

Glinda shakes Shev’s hand in response. “A pleasure. I hope we may meet again someday.” 

Shev smiles at her. “I hope so, too.” With that, Shev leaves without a further word to Glinda or Lillian.

Glinda sips softly at her cup of green tea, silently staring out the window to the woods beyond. And she remembers. 

She hadn’t realized…no she’d been young and foolish. And while she finds it best not to dwell too much on the mistakes of the past, there’s no doubt she’d done some downright cruel things in pursuit of what she thought she wanted. But when it came down to it, those very things drove her further away from what she truly wanted. 

She broke her promise. A year after things finally settled down, she told the people the truth. They didn’t turn on her like Elphaba said they would. In all fairness, Glinda had been planting many of those ideas anyway. But she couldn’t stay quiet. It was one of the reasons that most Ozians respected her so much: she was honest with them about the way things had been, and the way things are. She decided that day, the moment she decided to throw Morrible in prison, in fact, that she would not be another pretty face to inspire the people of Oz, but a leader to guide them and think for themselves. 

Lillian’s voice breaks her thoughts. “You’ll want to go before it gets too late. Unless you can make a satisfactory camp for yourselves, you’ll want to reach the next outpost by nightfall. We’re far from any cities, and I can’t speak for the dwellings of nearby villages.”

Glinda grabs her things, and she begins to travel further west. The path she forged was rocky and full of trees she could barely see through. She wound through the heavy forest and realized she was practically on the side of a mountain. A branch scratches her cheek and she winces. 

It’s bleeding. But it’s not bad enough for her to stop her journey. She walks for long enough that she loses track of time. 

The trees begin to clear, and Glinda thinks she spots a few homes not too far away, possibly a village. Suddenly she hears a low growl from somewhere up ahead. Glinda freezes in her tracks. She grabs her wand and stands at the ready. A small, fuzzy creature emerges from the bushes and Glinda temporarily relaxes. Perhaps Lillian and Shev had exaggerated after all. 

It’s at that point that a much larger, more terrifying beast emerges from the woods behind the smaller fuzzy creature. It takes one look at Glinda and opens its mouth, teeth large and deadly, and roars at her. 

Glinda steadies herself and murmurs a spell under her breath, and a bolt of lightning shoots out from her wand and hits the monster straight in the chest. She smiles briefly, but it fades quickly as she realizes that the beast is hardly fazed. She readies herself to cast a stronger spell, but before she can finish the beast roars and swipes at her with a massive claw. It hits her left shoulder and Glinda can’t keep her footing. Her whole body hurt, and her head slams against the ground. 

She loses consciousness and wonders if she’ll survive these wilds long enough to find Elphaba. 

Glinda wakes in an unfamiliar setting. She briefly wonders if Shev has rescued her once again from peril. She looks down and realizes that she has bandages around her arm and torso. Her wand sits on a small desk across the room, still in one piece. Everything hurts, but at least she’s still alive. 

She starts to sit up, but her head spins and she lays back down.

“Try not to move too much. You hit your head hard, and it’s likely given you a concussion.” 

Glinda scans the room to find the source of the voice. A woman with long dark hair sits in front of a fire. Her heart leaps in excitement as Glinda thinks it could, in fact, be Elphaba sitting before her, but the woman’s skin is a dark brown, not that lovely shade of green. 

“Are you okay?” The stranger’s voice is tender, almost too tender for how unfamiliar they were. 

“Where am I?” asks Glinda. She stutters at how hoarse and faint her voice sounds. She looks around the cottage. Books, candles, more books. (Elphaba would have loved this.) “Who are you?” 

“I saw the bear attack you. I...when I saw you were still alive, I decided to bandage you up. You’re in my home now.” The woman barely looks at her while she says this, focusing instead on changing Glinda’s bandages. 

Glinda groans. “I should have been more prepared. I should have...” She pauses and meets the stranger’s gaze. “Thank you. For saving me.” 

The woman takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. The air around her seems to shimmer, and her skin turns from a deep brown to a bright emerald green. She’s silent for a moment, and then meets Glinda’s gaze. 

Glinda gasps faintly, unsure of what she’s seeing is really true. “Sweet Oz, is that you or did I hit my head that hard?” 

The woman keeps her gaze and expression steady and blank. There’s both compassion and sadness buried deep below the surface. “How did you find me, Glinda?”


	5. Heartbeats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glinda has finally found Elphaba, but will their reunion be a happy one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!!! 
> 
> I'm so sorry for such a delayed update, y'all. My life kinda got pretty intense for a bit, and I just didn't have the energy to write something, especially something so emotional. Honestly, this was going to be a little more angsty but it kind of just turned into FEELS. Thank you to everyone who's left me comments! I love all the keysmashing!! I'm over at glindagay on tumblr if y'all wanna stop by and scream about this fic with me. 
> 
> Ginna Clare if you're reading this I love you.

Glinda can’t tell if she’s furious, overjoyed, or heartbroken. She’s all three at once and it’s overwhelming. Her head hurts and her stomach is in knots. She attempts to stand, and her head spins in response. 

“Elphie? You…you’re alive!” Glinda stammers as she makes it to her feet. She can’t tell if she wants to cry with happiness or anger or sorrow. Her stomach spins in all of her emotions. Or maybe it’s her head making her feel this way. Between the revelation of Elphie being alive and the pounding pain in her head, everything is just too much. Oh, she definitely wants to throw up. Glinda suddenly bends over and throws up on the floor. She has tears in her eyes as she looks up at her best friend, the bitter taste of bile still in her mouth.

Elphaba sighs. “You’ve clearly got a concussion, Glinda. You should lay down. I’ll clean that up and get you something to drink.” Elphaba walks to the kitchen to grab a towel to clean up the floor. She walks back in moments later. 

Glinda’s already sobbing. Her head hurts and her heart has been shattered and repaired dozens of times over in a matter of moments. She’s so happy that Elphie is still alive, but at the same time furious - both with herself and with Elphie. Did she not search hard enough? Did Elphie not care?

“Hey,” says Elphaba, handing her a glass of water. “Drink this. It’ll help you feel better.” 

Glinda takes a sip and grimaces. “What is that? It tastes disgusting. Are you sure it’ll actually help me?”

Elphaba wrinkles her brow in confusion. “It’s water, Glinda. It’s good for you.” 

Glinda settles back down into the couch. “Not for you, apparently.” She pauses. “Do you have any vodka? That would definitely take the edge off this.” She gestures at both her head and between her and Elphaba.

Elphaba stares at her for a moment. “What happened to you, Glinda?” she asks softly.  

Glinda attempts to stand up once more but gives up as her head spins. She sits down in an attempt to stop the room from spinning. Her anger finally surfaces. “You couldn’t be bothered to tell me you were alive. I mourned you for  _ ten years _ without knowing that all along you were right under my nose! I missed you more than I’ve missed anyone else. I tried to move on but I just...couldn’t! I loved you.” Glina nuzzles herself deeper into the couch. “I lost you, and I lost myself. And I didn’t know how to handle it besides fixing Oz.”

Elphaba turns away to hide the tears on her cheeks. Showing emotions isn’t exactly one of her strengths, but she’s matured enough over the years to know when it’s okay to cry. 

“I tried, you know. To visit you.” Her voice cracks as she tries to hold back her feelings. She wanted to tell Glinda the truth for so long, but she was always too scared. Nothing seemed to have gone right for her after leaving Oz. It was too much.

Glinda practically glares at Elphie. “When.” It’s not a question. 

Elphaba sits down on her couch next to Glinda. “Five years ago. I...I tried, Glinda. I swear I did. I even disguised myself so that I could walk freely through Oz without being noticed. It was your birthday. You seemed...so happy without me there. I just couldn’t bear to make you sad by being in your life again.” 

Glinda turns and faces Elphaba. She gasps softly at the tears streaming down Elphaba’s face. “Why in Great Oz would you ever think that you being in my life would ruin it?” She leans forward and places her hand on Elphaba’s cheek. “You were -- are -- my best friend. Nothing could ever change that.” 

Elphaba presses her hand against the one Glinda has on her cheek. She wipes her tears from her own face, and then from Glinda’s cheeks as well. She smiles. “Even pretending you’re dead for ten years?” 

Glinda shrugs softly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still furious with you for not telling me; there’s still a lot to discuss about that, I know. But you’re still my best friend. If you want to be.” She stares at Elphaba wistfully.

Elphaba wraps Glinda in her arms. “Of course I still want to be your best friend. I’m so sorry, Glinda.” She rests her head on Glinda’s shoulder, glad to be back in her arms again.

“I’m sorry, too.” Glinda buries herself into Elphaba’s embrace as best she can.

They stay like that for a few moments, holding each other in a warm embrace. Reunited. Alive. And then, that peaceful moment shifts back to the tension and trauma of the past. 

“Fiyero...is he with you? If you’re not dead, he probably isn’t either, right?” Glinda asks after she breaks away from the hug. She darts her eyes around the cottage, wondering if her old friend and flame was still around somewhere. She wouldn’t mind seeing him again as well, although knowing Elphie is alive is enough for Glinda.

Elphaba looks down and sighs. “He was. I saved him from the guards by turning him into a scarecrow.” 

Glinda throws a hand over her mouth and stifles a giggle.

“It’s not funny!” protests Elphie. “I mean...it kind of is. It was a very stressful situation.” They both stay silent for a moment: remembering. It  _ was  _ a horrible situation, really. “He was with me at first. I tried so many times to turn him back to being human but I just couldn’t. Maybe I could if I tried now, but not then. I knew next to nothing about my own magic. Both of us kept trying. And then…” her voice cracks a bit as she remembers that day.

Glinda takes Elphaba’s hand in hers. “It’s okay.”

Elphaba smiles softly at her, grateful for someone to finally talk about it with. “One day he just left. I woke up that morning and he was gone. I don’t think either of us were very happy near the end. That was almost five years ago, now. I still don’t know where he is or if he’s even alive. Maybe he’s been eaten by crows by now.” Elphaba looks wistfully into the distance, into a better time. Perhaps not a happier time, but a better one. Had she ever had a happy time in her life? 

“I’m so sorry, Elphie. You didn’t deserve that.” It’s not hard for Glinda to put the puzzle pieces together. Fiyero left, and she tried to come to her for support. “I wish I could have helped you then. If I had known you were alive...I would have been there for you.”

Elphaba chortles. “And that’s the awful thing about it. I knew you would. I knew you’d be there for me but I just. I couldn’t do that to you. I wanted to take you with us when we first left or at least tell you, but Fiyero insisted we shouldn’t. And look how that turned out. Whether or not I involved you, I knew either I would be miserable or you would be miserable. So I chose me.” She turns back to Glinda, trying to change the subject. “How does your head feel? Any better?”

“It still hurts a bit, but I’m not as nauseous as I was earlier.” 

Elphaba nods. “That’s normal, really. Do you want anything to eat? You were out for a while.”

Glinda pauses for a moment and tries to figure out how she actually physically feels. It had been an emotional hour and in the process of talking to Elphie she almost forgot about how her body actually felt. “I’m pretty hungry, actually. What do people eat here in Ev, anyway?”

Elphaba shrugs. “I wouldn’t know, really. I mostly make things with what I have available. It’s not like I talk to many people around here. Let me find you something.”

Glinda sits in silence while Elphaba tries to find something in the kitchen. There’s a feeling of relief in her chest, a bubble that’s popped. In spite of her anger (or perhaps in union with it) she’s incredibly  _ happy _ that she’s once again here with Elphie. It’s distressing to her to think that Elphie didn’t want to be part of her life anymore because she was afraid she’d ruin it. Didn’t she know? Didn’t Elphie know just how much Glinda cared for her? How much Glinda wanted her in her life?

_ You love her _ , she thinks. With Elphie still alive and in the other room, Glinda’s no longer afraid of that thought. 

Elphaba walks back into the room with two plates of bread and an assortment of fruits and cheese. “I know it’s not much. I usually have enough food for just one person, but I hope this will suffice.”

_ Yes. Yes, I do love her. _

Glinda smiles. “Thanks, Elphie. I appreciate your kindness.” Their hands touch as Elphaba hands her the plate, and Glinda’s heart skips a small beat. Elphaba sits down and they both begin to eat the food Elphaba prepared for them. And Glinda smiles at her best friend. It’s been years since she’s felt this way. It’s been years since Glinda’s truly felt alive, and here with Elphaba she can once more feel her cold, broken heart beating once more. 

They mostly sit in silence together as they eat. There’s something so wonderful about being together again that Glinda can’t think of any words to say - a rarity for her. She yawns suddenly, bread nearly falling out of her mouth in the process. 

Elphaba chuckles. “You’re not quite as graceful as I remember,” she says, trying not to laugh. 

Glinda almost throws her remaining bread at Elphaba. “It was a long journey! I’m still as graceful and beautiful as always.”

Elphaba just smiles. “Of course you are.” For once, she’s not actually being sarcastic. “I only have one bed here. I can take the couch if you prefer, but I think it’s best if you sleep in a bed tonight. It will be better if you can keep your head elevated, of course, but if you can’t sleep like that it’s fine. Between my magic and knowledge of medicine you should be fully healed in no time.”

She’s rambling again, and it’s adorable. Glinda just smiles. “Nonsense. I couldn’t bear to keep you out of your own space. We’ve shared a bed before. It’ll be just like that.”

Elphaba nods. “Very well then. It’s settled.” 

Elphaba takes a look at Glinda’s head once more, her emerald hands running through Glinda’s silky blonde hair to make sure there was no more bleeding anywhere. Glinda winces in pain as Elphaba’s finger runs over the spot where she initially hit her head. 

“How badly does it hurt?” asks Elphaba. 

“Well it’s not comfortable, that’s for sure,” replies Glinda dryly. 

Elphaba hums a quiet response and presses a finger against the spot once more, muttering something Glinda can’t quite make out. There’s a sudden warmth through Glinda’s skull as Elphaba does so, and the pain begins to subside.

“And now?”

Glinda just blinks at her. “Much better, thank you.” She rubs the spot with her own hand, amazed at how much good that did her. 

Elphaba just nods. “Good. I’m glad.” There’s a thick silence between the two of them. “Would you like me to show you where you’ll be sleeping tonight?” 

“Yes, that would be great! I haven’t exactly left this couch in a few hours, and it was a long journey here. A bed sounds quite nice.” 

Elphaba helps Glinda stand, and she realizes that she no longer feels quite so dizzy. They walk back through a small doorway, and sure enough, a simple bed sits in the middle of the room. Glinda looks at it and realizes that it’s not much bigger than the one they shared on their way to The Emerald City on that fateful trip. Of course, she realizes, it’s plenty big to fit two people. She must have slept with Fiyero there. The thought is more disquieting than Glinda is comfortable with. 

Glinda crawls into bed and pauses when she realizes that Elphaba isn’t joining her. “Are you going to bed now, too?” she asks. It’s a bit pathetic, really, in her opinion.

“I have some more things to do before I’m going to bed. I promise I won’t quietly sleep on the couch while you’re asleep if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Glinda blushes and lays her head down on the pillow. “Goodnight, Elphie. I’m glad to see you.” 

Elphaba stands in the doorway and turns back to face Glinda. “Goodnight, Glinda. I’m glad you’re here, too.” Before she closes the door, she runs to the kitchen and sets a glass of water down by Glinda’s bedside. “Rest well.” Elphaba gently closes the bedroom door as Glinda peacefully drifts off to sleep. 


	6. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years of separation leaves much baggage for both Elphaba and Glinda and it's heavy for both of them to bear. After everything, is happiness nothing more than a dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: alcoholism recovery
> 
> I'm putting a content warning for this chapter. Glinda is essentially a recovering alcoholic and that is addressed in this chapter. That may hit close to home for some. Please be mindful of your own triggers while reading. I couldn't be more appreciative of the readers I have, and I want y'all to be safe and happy. Both Elphaba and Glinda have a lot of trauma to deal with, and it's not always easy or neat. 
> 
> On a happier note, this fic does have a playlist I'm working on!

Glinda’s dreams feel more like memories, these days. And that night felt no different. 

She stands in front of Morrible’s cell. Glinda tries not to look as unkempt as she is. But Morrible, the wicked witch that she is, sees right through Glinda’s attempt at appearing put together. Even in this taunting dream, Morrible’s face and voice still unnerve Glinda.

“Where is she!” screams Glinda. “I know you know where she is!” Glinda’s hair is unkempt, her voice cracking as she shouts. And truly, Glinda is a bit tipsy. Her face is flushed, her eyes red with weeping, the stench of alcohol on her breath.

“You declared it yourself,” says Morrible. She looks far more haggard than she did during her days with the Wizard, but her demeanor is still stone cold. “The witch is dead.” Morrible’s face twists and taunts Glinda’s sleeping mind.

“Elphaba. Her name is Elphaba. You and I both know she’s alive, somewhere. What do you know.” It’s not a question or request. Glinda wishes it sounded stronger, more authoritative than it did. In all reality she’s just an alcoholic mess. 

“You killed her!” 

“That poor child killed her. The child  _ you  _ sent to the witch. Her blood is on your hands.”

Glinda, clearly shaken, pounds her fist against the iron bars of the cell. “You were the one who summoned the storm, who brought the child in the first place! You killed her sister, you trapped her, you plotted against her from the very beginning even when she had done nothing wrong.”

“And yet you still refused to save her.”

Glinda sinks to the floor, sobbing. She turns her face, and Dorothy stands before her. She’s a child and yet Glinda has never felt more terrified. 

Dorothy looks puzzled for a moment, and then grabs the bucket of water. “I was told to kill the wicked witch.” 

The water lands on Glinda’s head. In her dream she feels the pain, her head screaming as the water burns against her skin, melting, melting, melting…

And Glinda wakes.

* * *

Elphaba spends time flying on her broomstick; a silent, star-filled night sky keeping her company. She feels...conflicted. Her heart is not where it had been even a day ago. She’d spoken to the bears. She was trying to teach them how to talk. They helped protect her from those who might harm her.

And yet seeing Glinda lying on the ground, bloodied with a large bear standing over her unnerved Elphaba to her very core. She’d never expected to see Glinda again. Especially not like that. 

The truth was, Glinda had been in far worse shape. When Glinda awoke in Elphaba’s cottage, she thought she only had a concussion. In all reality, Elphaba had healed most of her wounds, some deep enough that Elphaba feared that Glinda would bleed out in her arms.

Elphaba wipes away a tear from her eye. It was foolish, getting emotional over all of it. Why did she still care after all these years? She should just run again. Find another abandoned house in the middle of nowhere and die alone. It would be better than dealing with the mess of feelings that blew in with the blonde. 

Then again, there had been part of her heart that had been so wickedly excited to see Glinda, even if it had been under dire circumstances. There was just too much for Elphaba to handle. Not that she’d ever been good at handling well, anything. She may have never developed healthy attachments to anyone before, but it’s never too late to try.

Elphaba glances down at her house and notices a light on. She furrows her brow. Glinda is supposed to be asleep, and Elphaba likes none of the conclusions that she draws about that light. She lands softly and quietly before bursting into the door. 

Sure enough, Glinda is awake and rummaging through the kitchen.

“Do you have anything to drink? I need a drink to calm my nerves,” says Glinda, still rummaging through the cabinets. Her voice is thin, stretched by an anxiety neither of them could name.

“Glinda, stop.” 

Both of them know that it’s not really a request, and both of them know it’s a low point for Glinda. Glinda does pause for a moment.

“Elphie please,” she begs. 

Elphaba sighs. “I’ll make you a cup of tea. Do you want to talk about it?” 

Glinda’s face contorts in frustration. “No! I want a drink!” Her hands are shaking and she almost has to laugh at the way she’s throwing a childish temper tantrum. She’d done so well not drinking -- save for Elphaba’s death date. And yet confronted with all of this emotion she wants nothing more than to drink herself into a stupor. 

Her thoughts pause as Elphaba grabs her hands. “You’re shaking. You shouldn’t be up walking yet. Come on, you need to lay down.”

Glinda shakes her head. “I’d say I’ve become a monster in my later years, but I think that’s always been true for me.”

“Oh, Glinda.” Elphaba’s heart breaks just a bit more when she says that. 

Glinda shakes her head. “No no, it’s true. I bullied you, befriended you, and then betrayed you. And then when you...left...I fixed Oz. But I destroyed everything else around me to do it. I dreamed of a time years ago when I drunkenly confronted Morrible. It felt like looking in a mirror. You may have forgiven me years ago but I have never been able to forgive myself for what I did to you.” The sheer vulnerability of it all pulls ten years of heartache to the front. Hot, wet tears begin to stream down her face.

Elphaba wraps Glinda in her arms, and Glinda begins to sob. “I’m so sorry, Elphie.”

Elphaba has never been one for words; emotions are difficult for her, let alone expressing them. There are unspoken confessions on her lips. Could she truly tell Glinda about those ten years? About the sheer loneliness she felt even with Fiyero around? About her strange determination to simply live a life that was hardly satisfactory? 

“Hey,” whispers Elphaba, lips brushing against Glinda’s hair. “Let’s get you back into bed.”

Glinda just nods, not letting go of Elphaba. “I think that sounds like a good idea.” The two of them crawl back into Elphaba’s bed. Glinda rolls over to face Elphaba. “How are you so calm about everything?”

Elphaba brushes a strand of blonde hair behind Glinda’s ear. She laughs. “I’m not calm. I haven’t been since I saw you lying on the ground. I was...scared. I still am. I just don’t remember how to talk to people very well. I still care about you, Glinda. That hasn’t changed.” 

Glinda sighs and closes her eyes. “Thank you.” Her hand reaches for Elphaba’s as she drifts off to sleep.

Elphaba just watches this time, making sure Glinda drifts off peacefully. She smiles faintly as she watches the way Glinda’s chest moves softly with her breathing, wondering if she could ever dare to dream of her own happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me this far. I cannot express how much I appreciate all of you who've genuinely inspired me to keep me going. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously please leave a comment.


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